Monday, June 28, 2010

Thoughts on Marriage

The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes. ~Amy Grant

You come to love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.
~Sam Keen

Love is not something you feel. It's something you do. ~David Wilkerson

Do you view God's Word as a command or a suggestion? ~Perry Noble

 Am I living in sin with no desire to get out of it? You may make a mistake in your checkbook, but an affair is no mistake. ~Perry Noble

So, I compose blog posts in my head all the time.....while I weed the garden, while I mow the lawn, while I wash the dishes, while I change diapers, etc, etc.

And most of the time they never make it to the screen. I've been running this one over and over in my head for about a month and I think it is time to get it written out now. It has changed quite a bit since it was first forming. I have let go of the anger and tongue lashing that this started out as and now I hope it has hope and encouragement for myself and for other marriages.

I think about and pray about my own marriage often, but also spend quite a bit of time praying for other people's marriages as well. More so when I've heard of someone struggling, having difficulties, talking about divorce and the likes.

The reason for marriage on my mind lately.....someone very close to me and my family has decided to divorce his wife. Besides the fact that I love this couple deeply, it always saddens me to hear of the end of a marriage. We are still praying here for a complete restoration of this marriage. I see God working in the situation and am praying that the couple can see it too. There are some court filing technicalities that are holding up the actual granting of the divorce, so there is still time to redeem this marriage.

I could not imagine ever being in a position where I would want to end my marriage. Part of it is that I went into marriage with a clear understanding that it would be hard and it would be work and that it is near impossible to pull off with out Christ as the center of your home. I also took my vows before not only Joe, but before God very seriously.

Marriage was intended to be a sacred union between husband and wife!

I would not be a good wife or a mother if I did not humble myself everyday, did not ask for forgiveness often and did not turn to God for guidance and strength. Don't get me wrong, I fail often but I never have thoughts of throwing in the towel. I would not want to go through this life alone. I would not want to raise my children only half the time. I would not want to take my children away from their father. Our marriage isn't perfect.....impossible with sinners involved.....but we both work at it and put 100% into it.

Here are a few verses on marriage.....

Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
Hebrews 13:4

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.  Ephesians 5:22-33

Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.
Ecclesiastes 9:9

But Ruth said, "Do not urge me to leave you or turn back from following you; for where you go, I will go, and where you lodge, I will lodge. Your people shall be my people, and your God, my God. "Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus may the LORD do to me, and worse, if anything but death parts you and me."
Ruth 1:16-17

My lover is mine and I am his...
 Song of Solomon 2:16

There has been a lot of great marriage thoughts out in the blog world lately..... Surprise, surprise but I included some Ann Voskamp stuff.

           *Marriage is a long maturing
           *The worst always comes before the better
           *Begin a conversation well if you want to end a conversation well

           *Famililiarity breeds boredom only to the blind and the real see-ers know the worth of vows worn polish smooth with all the days.
            *Isn't it this alone, the one skin that halloows and sets marriage apart sacred? This intimacy that alive makes this the only of its kind in all our wanderings.
            *Control and false propriety can struggle love right stiff.

People need to be reminded that, together with prayer and the sacraments, a main key to success in conjugal love (the love that binds together two persons with defects) is learning to forgive and asking for forgiveness. Each time husband and wife acknowledge their defects to each other, they become more human and therefore more loveable.
~Covenanted Happiness~ (Thanks Jenny)

             *Maintaining a great marriage and raising godly children takes work…LOTS of hard work…but the Scriptures are SO clear as to how we are supposed to do this. I’m so glad God didn’t leave it to me to figure it all out!
             *Most people don’t actually have marriage problems…they have JESUS problems!!! We can’t truly have a Christ – centered marriage until we are completely submitted to Him!
             *Foundations for the Family sermon

Please pray for suffering marriages and for restoration. God can do anything!

God bless!


  1. Excellent post Holly!

    I think people get caught up in the "things" of society and don't stop to make the time to make a marriage work. To let all the "extras" go and get back to the basics. It seems as if society is so focused on the next best thing, new phone, new ipod, or "just get a new one" attitude. Sadly it seems to pertain to marriages for some.

    It's also very sad for those who don't have a choice, spouse won't go to counseling, won't work on it, just "want out".

    In the short time we've been married we've seen some marriages end and some in bad bad shape. We've discussed how we would get help if we were ever even close. It's nice to know even in trouble we'll be on the same page.

    Kiddingly my husband will say, "I've already got you *partially* trained in....why would I ever want to start over". We laugh. And "you women are all the same why would I take my chances " I say, "yes, you could get somebody with more problems than I". And for those of you who might read this.....we are kidding, well, somewhat. :) The grass isn't any greener anywhere else.

    I ramble on your post.....


  2. Love this post and I agree so much!! Marriage is just taken too lightly these days, it's too easy to "get out" and it's sad because so many times there are children involved and they are the ones hurt the most.

    I have been thinking a lot about this lately too. We are watching our friends go through a divorce right now and it's the first couple that we have been close to that has been through this. Watching how it effects everyone is sad. I think the worst part is that so one cheated, no one is abusive or has a addiction, they just "fell out of love". It's sad to think about that happening.

    I'm so thankful I married a man who takes marriage as serious as I do and divorce...not even in our vocabulary.